We Are All a Work in Progress

Fortunately I have recently completely filled out my latest subway card, which means that a free 6 inch subway sandwich is awaiting me a mere five blocks away after completion of this blog and subsequent departure from the library. Whew. I can't wait for the holidays to be over and all the people who are crowding the subways with their Macy's bags to go home and leave me in peace so i won't have to fight past all these slow moving people when I'm trying to get to work in the afternoons. Geez, where did all these kids come from anyway. I saw the best magician on the subway the other day, he was doing all these tricks with rings where he would tap them and they would go together and great card tricks like the kind that you see on television. He had that naturally spooky aura that David Blaine, proffessional street magician, has also. So I gave him a dollar. It was the first time I've given money away in New York, other than to the government for their ridiculous parki...

....coming tommorrow. FOLKS WE"RE OUT OF TIME!!!!! AND MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS STUCK!!!!!

woops! I meant Merry Christmas! Man I sure didn't want to say Happy Holidays and act like I was scared of Jews or Muslims or something. Cuz I'm not! But I have figured out why Jews are so cheap, and it's because I live near a jewish grocery store. The reason why is because the local Rabbi has to personally bless all the food so kosher food products can average several times what comparable non-kosher items cost in the same store. And I know a lot of you were wondering how the commercial went. Well it was essentially just a photo op for Koons Toyota located in Maryland and most of Northern Virginia. I put on a vest and smiled for at least 30 seconds on a podium along with several other vested actors and that was that. To get to that point though I had to wait for an hour in an entrance room with other actors and read old issues of Entertainment Weekly and gab about who everyone is with and where did they come from. You'll be able to see the commercial next month at koons...

At this time of year when so many of us are snug in our beds with visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads, it's natural to want to give to those less fortunate than us. However, I want to urge you to make it as impersonal as possible. Organizations like the United Way need your support all year, and now is a fine time to think about donating money to them, or perhaps a tenderly used coat or wrapped gift for a little one. But it's also possible at this time of year that you may know or come into contact with people who may need your help. I urge you to do your best to ignore these people. They should be going to their local churches for help, or contacting their nearest homeless shelter not pestering you personally and making you feel remorse. After all, that's not what this holiday season is about is it? No, it's about the giving, and the receiving, and the egg nog. But try not to get in the face of people you don't want to give to personally, because it can only...

I'm doing a local Toyota commercial in D.C. on Tuesday. OH WHAT A FEELING! Yeah most of you probably didn't know that last year I invested in 2 separate long driving trips to D.C. for the express purpose of gaining favor with agencies in D.C. and it looks as if it has finally paid off. Speaking of paid off. I finished my first shift on the floor at work yesterday and despite mistakes and closing early and having my first table stiff and stiffing myself when I calculated the second tables check wrongly I still made 80 bucks. So I'm happy about that. I'm about 6 blocks from work so uh. I gotta get some boots, because I hear that they're good for walking to work in. And that's just what I should do. Side note to in bed by nine: I'd love to use the bootstraps that God gave me except the government took my boots and my laces from me.

Oh great you say. I can't wait to read another exciting and riveting post from Joshua Dudley about how it's cold in New York or that his roomates stink, or that he's tired of walking around looking for work or that he's begging for money. I also hear that due to his lack of internet access, he is forced to blog with increasingly diminished quality from libraries and churches. Boo Hoo. I've got enough of my own problems without being reminded how tough someone else's choices in life are. I've got my own set of struggles that are totally different than that guy's, and plus I don't screw up every job opportunity I get, and I'm not paranoid about where my keys or my wallet is. In fact, I've just gotten plain old tired of Joshua Dudley. Dude, it's time for you to sink or swim, and in case you hadn't forgotten man you're like 30 years old. Shouldn't you be out applying for Viagra somewhere? Wake me up when you have something interes...

and i have 3 minutes to write this...okay. I listened to an hispanic lady show me where stuff was in the kitchen and then prepped up salads and stuff and then had to run around delivering packages to other TGIF locations. i made a few wrong turns while running around my boss got worried and called me. then i made another wrong turn while running back. i was just waiting for him to say "i just dont think its going to work out because you didnt cut it as an errand boy." fortunately he didn't, and i spent the rest of the day as a busboy and order taker at minimum wage. it was the most fun ive ever had and my time is about to expire so goodbye all.

There's brighter times ahead. I'll have good things to report and you'll cry and tell your friends of my adventures and exploits. One day I'll be sitting by the fireplace with my grandchildren telling them the very same story that I'm telling you right now. But until then I'll just have to live it. So that's just what I'll do. See you next time! As long as next time means monday.

I went through the security department of T.G.I. Friday's today and got my clearance. So tommorrow I call to get on the schedule and uh...start working??? crazy. I got a library card to use in Manhattan, but not Brooklyn (where it is required for you to have a ny drivers license) i probably could have written a longer blog here but i had to check my email. this library is just around the corner from where I work, and my bank is on the same street too! there is an actual good mouse here too. im loving it. send money.

I just got on the subway for almost an hour simply to post, check my email, dispute a traffic and return a belt that I could have returned anytime this month.... The second interview was really more of a "here's what we do at this fridays" kind of thing so now i have to go get fingerprinted and id'd tommorrow and call "nattie" on friday to get put on the schedule. then...that should be it...i should be working in like 3 days??? maybe? i still can't believe I'm in New York. Remember in the spirit of the Holidays and in the spirit of charity as represented by our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ, please remember to support my endeavours through the holidays. After that I should be okay for a while.... whew. i can breathe easier now but I still racked up the credit bills the first month I was here and I need your support. Paypal to: joshuadudley@yahoo.com or send check or money order to Joshua Dudley 1555 Dahill Road brooklyn, Ny 11204

I was going to another job, when i saw a tgi fridays on my right. stopped in. said hello. and i applied basically. fortunately i could tell that the interviewer wasn't the most corporate character around which i have determined is the only kind of character that would give me a job. i still have to go to a second interview tonight at 5 though but he said it was really more cursory anyway and that he would probably have me on the schedule to start training tonight. id write more but i cant stand this keyboard. i love this church office, but i dont want to come back unless i have to .l..aaaaaaa please lord give me the internet in my apartment so i can blog in my santa claus full body long johns with the butt flap in the back. p.s. this doesnt mean by the way that you still shouldnt send me money because you still need to. seriously.

Okay. So here I go. I don't know where to start since my head is still spinning, but I'll do the best I can. I went home for Thanksgiving this past week since I wasnt due to start training at Uno's till Tuesday. So I spent 5 days as the hero around town and all my friends who saw me were thrilled and very happy for me. I didn't get as many free food and drink items bought for me as I would have liked but still, it was a wonderful time. Monday night I did open Mic night for the third night at the bowery poetry club. I was the very last person on at 2:20 in the morning, and I brought the house down. (editor's note - this section of the blog was actually written last and feeling pressed for time and a little drained by the writing of the rest of it, any descriptions of this event will remain sparse until a future update, thank you) They loved my opening joke - I realized when I got home the other day and looked around my apartment that I really needed a girlfriend, bec...