Happiness and Crushing Defeat

Okay. So here I go. I don't know where to start since my head is still spinning, but I'll do the best I can. I went home for Thanksgiving this past week since I wasnt due to start training at Uno's till Tuesday. So I spent 5 days as the hero around town and all my friends who saw me were thrilled and very happy for me. I didn't get as many free food and drink items bought for me as I would have liked but still, it was a wonderful time.

Monday night I did open Mic night for the third night at the bowery poetry club. I was the very last person on at 2:20 in the morning, and I brought the house down.
(editor's note - this section of the blog was actually written last and feeling pressed for time and a little drained by the writing of the rest of it, any descriptions of this event will remain sparse until a future update, thank you)
They loved my opening joke - I realized when I got home the other day and looked around my apartment that I really needed a girlfriend, because after all, how else is my underwear going to washed? I followed that up with a gut shot to the stomach.

Q: How come you can't fire a white guy?
A: of course you can. I've been fired all the time. And it's usually for stuff that I didn't do anyway, like showing up, or working.

Anyway, it was great and I finally felt like a real comedian. It was incredible

Fast forward till Tuesday when I arrive at Uno's at 4:45 which was the time that I thought I was told over the phone, and it turns out that they have already started "Pizza School" which is their name for their once a week corporate training camp. They would not let me continue the class late so I had to go home and they told me that I would have to go back and take it next week. I felt awful and I had this deep crawling sensation in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't quite right. Unfortunately, Chad, the guy who hired me, wasn't there to pat me on the back and smooth things out with the trainer who greeted me that day with this little pithy comment, "So you're a little late huh?"

They told me to call Lori the schedule manager the next day. Following orders, I did just that, otherwise I would have shown up to see her. She told me she would have to talk with the trainer and get back to me. 2 hours later she said she talked to the trainer and they're booked for next week so she just didn't think it was going to work.

What was that? Did someone just drop a lead weight on my heart? Ouch. Did that really happen?

So I wrote a 2 page letter of apology addressed to Chad and the other manager's there and went to Uno's the next day. Chad was not there again, so I talked to Lori, and barely fighting back the tears I told her how important the job was to me and how committed I was, that the mistake I made in arriving at the wrong time wasn't reflective of my true character and that I would put it all behind me. She was moved a little bit, but not enough to change her mind, or perhaps she didn't have the authority to do anything then. I don't know. I gave her the letter addressed to Chad with instructions to give it to him, and left gasping for air.

The next day I talked to Chad and asked if he got my letter. He said he did not. I asked him if I could take Pizza School out of town, and he said he would talk to Pat about it. I don't know if I should call over there today or just show up, or should I bother about it today at all because it will look I'm desparate. But I am desparate, so maybe I should just show up.

I really have nothing more to report. There is still a glimmer of hope at Uno's, but just a speck. This lead balloon of darkness is rapidly filling up all my available space and it hurts to walk or ride the subway or breathe or think.

I'll take any job right now. I have just enough cash to pay the rent and my next credit card payment, but not the one after that. I'll have to get a cash advance from my credit card to cover it.

I'm going to an interview in a little bit, then I will just call all the retail shops to find work.

Tommorrow morning I will be calling all the Starbucks, and a lot of clothing and movie stores.

If I'm not hired by Wednesday somewhere I will be calling Fast Food places. I swear to God.

Oh yeah, and I tried to get a New York Driver's licence and I can't yet because I have to pay for an old ticket from 8 years ago in upstate New York and I don't know how much that is yet.

Otherwise, I would already be delivering pizza again.

I am currently accepting generous cash donations to help ward off the coming insanity and general gloominess.

at 1555 Dahill Road Brooklyn, New York 11204

or send a donation to my paypal account at joshdudley@yahoo.com