We Are All a Work in Progress

From over stimulation, too much cigar smoke in the apartment and 3 hours of sleep on sunday followed by 6 on monday and after a full 8 today i need to go to bed right now. ive been way tired for over an hour. but still i knew the people would be clamoring for me, and I cannot abandon them. It is against my honor! Some notes of note I was at a house party on Saturday, and the topic happened to come up about Moby and whether or not he was a christian and then it struck me that christians sort of have this minority view of themselves where they (we) cling desparately to people in popular media and pin our normal view of christianity on them. Oh so if Moby's a christian, then i guess it's okay! that kind of thing. and then someone brought up how some old school metal artist is a christian but he doesnt change his stage show to reflect that, believing that its only a show and he shouldnt change what made him successful in the first place while living his life with friends and family...

You guys probably thought that I wouldn't notice that my last 2 lucid and bizzare posts met with no comment. Perchance it was because you had no idea what to say. I no no. I spelled the word "no" wrong. It should have been "know", as in Dr. Know the first James Bond movie (other than Casino Royale of course) based on the popular British spy character invented by Ian Fleming way back when. It was always great escapist fun watching James Bond because he always had some gadget which would allow him to do something so ridiculous that you would just laugh, shake your head and say, "That wacky ol James Bond has done it again!" And speaking of ridiculous... Which movie are you guys looking forward to more, Rocky 6 or Rambo 4? I haven't watched a single new Stallone film since Copland in 1997, the rest have all been, as I understand it, turgid. You may not be familiar with that word as such, but you'll have to trust me when I say that it was used derog...

I have no real reason for writing that, except that it's funny in an idiosyncratic sense and if nothing else that's at least good for something, although I must admit that at this time I am not exactly sure what that is or why it would be important but I feel I have certain obligations to my readership to include you in important goings ons such as this private joke that we are now sharing in honor of that beloved social revolutionary, Abby Hoffman. Abby loved his country so much that he named his only son after it, and thus America Hoffman was born, although I think it would have been more powerful if he had named him Johnny America who could have then become a comic book character and fought all sorts of wacky adventures against the red skull. I'm so sorry but work on this blog is unbearable now that I have become afflicted with the dread disease that waits for all of us - sleep! Sleep is to be feared. It can strike at any time and without mercy. It holds no regards to th...

Hoo boy! There sure is a lot of stuff going on in the world isn't there? I mean that's like a serious understatement if ever understatements have been made, and certainly they have otherwise there would be no need at all to have such a word which describes something which otherwise wouldn't ostensibly exist. I heard that Dick Cheny, who is currently our vice president as of this writing, shot someone in the face. It's very likely that this won't happen ever again as I understand he is now going through a mandatory "face shooting sensitivity training course" which is designed to let the viewer understand how serious it is to shoot someone in the face. I have never seen it, since I have never shot anyone in the face, however there was this one time that me and my brother were playing with BB guns and my brother asked me to point the gun at him and pull the trigger, which looking back on it seems like a really bad idea given the fact that our dad had told us ...

What with trying to be entertaining and having my living soul sucked out of me lately, I've noticed that I've been a little skimpy on any actual, you know news about me. Since probably nearly everyone that reads this thing actually knows me, that may not be such a bad idea. I mean I may have to sacrifice writing some ridiculous story about God knows what that 5 of you would enjoy for the greater good of mankind as we know it to be. So, what has been happening with me lately? Not a lot if you judge by this thing, but experience has taught me that a man's blog may not always be the best representation of anything that is actually relevant to him, especially if you're dealing with an individual of such an unusal persuasion like myself. Did I happen to mention that I enjoy celery? Well maybe I should have. Information like that could be quite pertinent should you chance to encounter me at some wild and distant point in the future when those damn dirty apes have destroyed ...

For the benefit of everyone who doesn't live in New York City, which admittedly is most of the world, you may not be aware of some particularly strange new york behaviour that goes on in the subways. It is thus: when you are waiting to board a subway it is perfectly okay to engage a stranger in conversation, if interested the stranger will talk back and if you board the same train as them it is perfectly okay to continue the conversation until it ends and try to exchange phone numbers or just mumble something at them as they get off on their stop and have a happy life that doesn't include ever seeing you again neccessarily. However, once you are actually on the train, 99.99% of strangers will not have a conversation with you for fear of their life. It's like the whole personification of the alpha male syndrome of pack animals. When you look at someone in the eyes too long they may growl at you or move to a different seat to avoid all the intimidation that you are directing ...

So I was in the elevator at the grocery store going down to the parking lot and I saw a sign that said "shoplifters will be prosecuted". I kind of find that hard to believe because of the logistics of catching every little kid that makes off with a snickers bar. On the other hand though, I think most lawyers are sneaky, so to make up for it, I think there should be another sign that reads "Prosecuters will be shoplifted." I kind of think that would bring balance to the world.

I just finished watching an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO on Demand and right when I turned it off, the Price is Right was on and I was reminded to keep my pets spayed and neutered. There's not many things that reach all the way back to your childhood, but Bob Barker takes me back and he's still fresh. By god, did you see the way he punched out Adam Sandler almost 10 years ago in Happy Gilmore? Man he was really old then, so imagine how old he is now!