We Are All a Work in Progress

If you are reading this, then there are probably things you want and have been unable to get for some very good reasons. One of those reasons might be that getting things requires effort, sometimes a lot of effort. Sometimes the strain of trying to get said things is  so  taxing, people go crazy and eat microwave pizza instead of preparing a real meal for dinner. Trying to get things that you didn’t have before is sometimes called “dream-chasing”. Other times, as in the case of Hitler, it is called being a ruthless and maniacal dictator who will stop at nothing less than world domination regardless of his inability to grow a full mustache. It certainly hasn’t stopped former president George Bush from  painting dogs  over and over again, which means it shouldn’t stop you either! However, it probably will. Let’s face it, what are the odds of you actually achieving your dreams of wealth, prosperity, and happiness? Probably very low. Does thi...

originally published in the Elizabethian February 20th, 2015 I recently filed for bankruptcy and I had a great time! I laughed, I cried, I answered some questions. I paid $1800. I may or may not have lied under oath. But, in the end, I learned a few things… #1.  There are several different kinds of bankruptcies . The most common one, called Chapter 7, is for people like me who are actually broke. The others are mostly for rich people who are hiding their assets and just want to “reorganize” their corporate structure (which is a fancy synonym for “stealing”). There’s actually one for farmers too, which is strange because I thought they were all getting huge government subsidies to operate on all that  GMO corn  I keep hearing about. Wow. That’s kind of depressing. #2.  It costs a lot of money to go broke. This one sounds like a joke, and that’s kind of what I was going for, but it’s also true! If you begin read...

originally published in the Elizabethian February 2nd, 2015 Now that the #SuperBowl is over, we can get back to thinking about the most important thing in our lives – our children. Think about it. All throughout the night, the Superbowl sponsors were bombarding viewers with reminders of the power of Human Connection ( Mcdonalds ,  Coke ), the harm of simple words ( Always ), how proud we want to be of our children ( Toyota ,  Microsoft ), and, most importantly, how we want to protect them from an uncertain future ( Nationwide ,  Nissan ). And this was all before halftime! Clearly America has gotten the message that the children are our future. We can teach them well and let them lead the way. But what’s the best way to lead them? Terms like “ helicopter parenting ” and “ free range parenting ” are thrown around to describe popular parenting techniques picked up from decades of watching Oprah and reading Cosmo. These are parents who only want the be...

Quarantine Oh Quarantine How Do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Originally published June 8, 2015 on The Elizabethian The following is a transcript of a Facebook conversation between David Pogge, writer for erbmagazine.com, and I: Joshua Dudley : Have you looked at google photos yet? it is what everyone has always wanted David Pogge I honestly don’t even know what that is. Joshua Dudley 1)unlimited photo and video storage (ie i just put tango and cash on there) 2) super easy to use interface David Pogge I think I’ve entered a wormhole. Joshua Dudley 3) automatically adds any photos or videos you shoot with your iphone or android 4) sorts by metadata so you can you search by places or faces 5) free 6) only shrinks things very slightly and online reviews say its near impossible to tell unless you blow it up and look closely 7) create photo albums of course 8) it also creates something like a scrapbook. pictures and videos that appear in different spots on the app to catch your eye and you can add captions 9) ...