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Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Hate NY #1


# 1 Everyone in New York is angry all the time

There are 10 million people living in New York City and thousands who visit every day from all parts of the world. The people who visit are happy and wander around aimlessly pointing up at the sky with their cameras dangling around their necks amazed at all the sights and wonders that await them around every corner. The people who live here just wish they and everyone else would get the hell out of the way so they can get to where they are going.

Living in New York makes people angry. It takes forever to get to anywhere, everyone is always in your way, homeless people are begging you for money, and everything costs too much.

Its hard to walk down a street in New York during the day and not see someone randomly curse someone out on the phone. It often goes something like this:

"Yo I told you to get me my f--n money. I'm f--n serious. Jesus I'm sick of this sh--. What do you mean you can't? You said it would be here today! F--k"

And that guy was probably just talking to his mom too who he still lives with.

I moved to New York almost five years ago, and one of my earliest memories is of crossing a street in Times Square and a car cut this guy off to my left. Right as we reached the other sidewalk he turned and said "Thanks a lot lady. You F--n B--ch!

I was at dinner tonight with some friends and a casual conversation was struck up about how everyone wished that people would just get the f--k out of their way sometimes. Naturally this seemed totally normal and this same conversation was probably had hundreds of times that night by other people all across the city. It's because we all have a mutual understanding and trust. We know that New York makes you hate everyone. This is a statement of fact. We poke fun of this in our daily conversations because its a way to relate to other people.

In New York we think everyone is out to get us, and its probably because they are. Stories cram up the local papers about slumlords who let apartment buildings crumble down on top of their tenants and never raise a finger to help unless the threat of a lawsuit is raised. It's almost impossible to rent an apartment in New York without paying a realtor an entire months rent up front and we think it's normal and it is, because this is New York.

Everything in New York that people are looking for, be it work in fashion or entertainment, housing or other jobs, are full of people that are waiting to fleece you or scam you, or otherwise prey upon you in some way to take your money. They do this because they know that in New York a sucker is not born every minute, he is born every second and just got off the bus at Port Authority.

If you're not angry right now, then you don't live here.