Sorry I haven't blogged in so long

Like I mentioned before. I've been writing on myspace because I get a more immediate reaction from the audience and more people read it.

Anyway. Here's my blog about yesterday...

I really hate doing these big general sort of update things since I feel that the people who are really interested in what is going with me would write me an email and ask "Joshua, what is going on with you?"

however there also lies the problem that while I like everyone on my friends list, I may not be willing to regurgitate the large variety of activities that I am currently engaged in during my tenure here in New York City.

Thus the need for a large blog type thing summarizing what it is that I have been doing, which on days like today really doesn't feel like much.

I've felt the need to put some type of blog up for the longest time about some topic or the other like when the Sopranos recently ended. I was pretty emotionally invested in that show and was rocked like a drum when Johnny Sack died 2 months ago. And then when Tony killed Christopher Moltisanti, I was rivetted to my chair and visibily exhaled for a moment or 2 and had to hit pause on the television (DVR) to gasp at what I had just watched. I would leave the after chuch coffee hour early to catch the beginning of it. I just couldn't wait.

Now that its all over I feel a twinge of sadness at the end of what I think is the finest drama ever seen on television. I keep replaying the ending over and over again in my mind. When the screen went blank I did freek out like the rest of America and panicked and then realized it was all over. I cried a little bit inside.

For the next 2 weeks I kept reading all the articles about the end and got all emotional about it all over again. Even the Hillary Clinton campaign video satirizing it had me thinking. Well, here's to Tony and the rest of the crew. I miss you guys. Remember the good times.

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anyway this next part is about work and life and things.

I've been doing promotions work full time for the last few months. I've been fortunate enough to land an alcohol promotion for Beefeater Royal London Gin 3 nights a week at 25 an hour, 3 nights a week for the whole summer. It keeps me peaceful, knowing that no matter what happens, I have work for the week, and its at night so I can audition or meet people or get other promotions work during the mornings or days when Im doing that.

For those who don't know, promotions mostly involved giving things, like flyers for Nokia, or product samples, like chocolate, or in the case of my alcohol promotion, giving away drink tokens for a free drink.

I get to meet new people constantly in this line of work and most of them are actors of some description, although I feel that Im the only one out there doing this work that is as devote to acting as I am.

I also started taking 2 acting classes a week from respected Hollywood Acting Coach, Bob McAndrew - a technique class, and a scene study class. The classes are really pushing me and furthering my boundaries and stretching my horizons to places further than I have known. I feel extremely grateful to be able to take these classes and meet all sorts of great people, and I've already made 2 great friends in the class, including one (married) girl that I've been working on this scene from the movie Magnolia that has a kissing scene in it.

Okay, I love that. It brings some of the romance back into my life which has sorely been lacking all these years since the one girlfriend I've ever had in my life many years ago.

I should be meeting with an acting manager sometime soon this month or next I hope who if all goes well will guide my career to the next level which I have to take if I am to continue my gradual ascent around here.

I'm going to be a working actor and I want to be in film. It's my utmost passion and desire and produces a stirring in my soul.

I woke up this morning without any work for the first saturday in many saturdays now, which is nice because everyone needs a break sometime and Im not worried about getting more work in the following weeks because of all the promotional contacts Ive made this last year in the business.

I need to be in a great frame of mind and physical health in order to produce my short pieces which I put all my heart and soul into. I just have to know that people like them. I put so much effort and love into them.

I think I really can do this book "Why I Hate You". Ive never finished a book. Ive started many over the years but have left them unfinished because i lacked the enthusiasm, or really it could be because i didn't get enough encouragement by people reading them. sometimes i need that. okay i need that a lot. Im sorta fragile sometimes.

I was just down today. I relaxed all day, thinking that would let me write another piece for everyone to enjoy, but it just didn't happen. Sometimes you can will these things, and sometimes you can't. I feel like I have to be fed and happy. I was fed today but I wasn't happy.

I was waiting on a phone call from a girl who didn't call. I sort of expected to have something to do today. There was also a call from a friend about a party this week that he somehow forgot to call me for. So i just sort of relaxed all day and caught up on phone calls with family and friends.

then i asked a girl out for ice cream through myspace. i hope she says "yes"

I caught the inspiration i needed a little late in the day from watching the movie "The World's Fastest Indian" I cried a half hour into it when Anthony Hopkins told a young boy "If you don't follow your dreams you might as well be a vegetable." and the boy replied "What kind of vegetable?"

then I started to write but didn't get very far before tiredness overtook me.

Fortunately, i dont need writers inspiration to do this sort of thing. which is why I felt the need to share, because I couldn't do anything else and sort of wanted this day to count for something despite the fact that I didn't leave the house.

so everyone overall im doing wonderful and I feel like I am living my dreams although at points i feel drained and tired and wonder what the hell i am doing. Im making it. every day the Lord gives me the strength that I need to continue