Final Reflections

This has been a time of great heartache and turmoil. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I've been attached to this ridiculous little burg called Hampton Roads for so long that it feels like I'm ripping myself apart to leave.

It still doesn't seem real.

Every little knick knack on my shelf, every article of clothing, every nuance of my room is so familiar to me that to say goodbye to it is like putting down a much loved family pet that has been around for so many years that you can't imagine life without it.

I don't know what I feel right now. Sadness? Longing? Confusion?

I'm sure putting my trust in God. I put out my sheepskin a long time ago, and it was wet the next day. Still, I did nothing.

It took me a very long time to put out a wet sheepskin and see it totally dry in the morning.

My parents and some friends of the family prayed over me today, and my mom cried and said she felt like Hannah at the temple leaving her son in God's hands. I cried too because she cares about me so deeply. Who will she fix herbs for? Who will she put out broccoli for now? My dad won't eat that stuff.

They can barely turn on the computer without me.

I'm reminded of the "lifeboat" test where you must choose between saving your mother, or saving your wife.

There's so much that I need to do while I still have time.

Life is just too short, and I've wasted so much of it.

I'm gonna run with this damn baton until I get to the finish line.