What time is it?

Guys please help. Seriously. I need some comments. I'm dying here. I spend way too long writing these things and coming up with ideas (usually) and I get no response. Is this stuff funny? Does it make you laugh? Do you like it? Are you just reading to placate me? I don't know. I feel like I'm shouting to an empty room, like I'm the performer that no one cares about.

This stuff is hard to do. If I wanted to just ramble every day and put out some crap like everyone else or just a link to some news item that they liked that day, that would be easy. Maybe I should just be like everyone else then you would like me more. Those other people get comments.

What do I have to do? I wish someone would tell me. Best friend for life actually called me up the other day with a comment about my blog instead of leaving a comment on my blog. Is everyone scared of leaving a comment or a complaint? I can take it. I'm a big boy. I'm 29, remember?

I need your support more than ever. My parents are just clawing me to death hoping against hope that I'll stay here forever with them. They don't know that there's nothing for me here, that I'm dying here the longer that I stay. My dad keeps giving me newspaper clippings about jobs I could get around here when I keep telling him that I'm leaving. The other day I started telling my mom about apartments in New York and she just started moaning about starving actors. Doesn't she know that's the life for me? How come everyone but my parents thinks I'm a great actor? Are they just so scared of everything that they're hanging on to life by their fingertips? My dad still wants me to get a job at an industrial supply company and work my way up or join the army as a colonel rank because I have a bachelor's degree. I can't live my life every day without dreams like some people can. I want more than that. You have to do what you love, it's not just about making money. If you're dead inside, then you have nothing to live for.

And I just get so frustrated every day when I put out what I think is an overall awesome work that's entirely unique and unlike anything that you could read in a magazine or newspaper anywhere and I get no response. Did I just hear crickets?

This is why I stopped writing my fan club newsletter on the internet at http://joshdudley.tripod.com. I didn't get enough support. I didn't feel like anyone cared and they were just letting me be wierd and doing my own thing.

I'm trying to save up money for an apartment at the end of this month. I got turned down for a job at the Olive Garden even though I have a friend that works there who's in good with the manager, and everyone who worked there just told me that I had to keep coming back and they would eventually hire me. Well, I've been there like 8 times at least and the manager on the phone told me that they had nothing for me. Was I just supposed to wait for them to not call me like they don't call everyone else?

Working at Chanello's is absolutely killing me. The heat is stifling in the restaurant and no one talks there about anything of any interest except how much their tip was, and the score of the football game, and how much the store sucks.

Well, I can't help but agree with them more on that last part.

P.S. I'm sorry this blog sucked so much and was just like everyone else on the internet, but maybe that's what you guys want. I don't know. Whatever. Goodnight.