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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Sky is Falling

Hurricane Katrina almost destroyed the world, and to find out about it on I have to watch commercials. Ditech charges a flat fee for "closing costs" on a house. Maybe they're trying to put honest hard working real estate agents out of business.

One of the videos I watched showed New Orleans residents staying in their homes.??!!!???? One guy said, "Us French Quarter folks are a hardy bunch." What a fruitcake.

Panicking Next Door Neighbor: There's 135 mile an hour winds bearing down on us!

Fruitcake: Eh, what are you gonna do?

Panicky guy with high pitched voice: I'm leaving that's what, and I think that you should too.

Fruitcake: You want some gumbo?

The Aftermath

Watching disaster videos like I was watching yesterday really puts life into perspective. Life's too short to fret over the little things. Seek out your dreams. Eat pineapples while hanging upside down by your toes.

Dumbest Thing Ever - Heard at a pizza store on Monday

So this black lady walks into the store with her friend who has what appears to be a machette comb sticking out of her hair. They both had that mouth wide open for too long, lip smacking noise, eyes glazed over not looking at anything in particular kind of look. And then the crazy part was that they actually started talking. I know right, I couldn't believe it either.
I will call her Lafonda.

Lafonda: how long is your foot long sub?

The Manager: (looking around for a second to gather in air)12 inches.

Lafonda: Yeah, that sounds long enough. I'll take one of doze.

She probably ate the whole thing and speaking of that. I have to eat breakfast and go to work.

Yes folks, duty calls.

But don't worry I'll be back real soon and have more fun with you.

Maybe we could do a sing along or something?

Do you guys know that Father Abraham song?