More things of Interest in this Post Katrina World

Editor's Note: I know that 2 long posts in one day will probably cause a bit of consternationzz amongst the more genteel fans that I have acquired through endless promotion. Well, let me just state for the record that the reason that there is now a second post today, is for the simple fact that the first one wasn't very good, and I didn't want people to think that I had lost my edge. Also, while sweating to death at Chanello's Pizza today, I had a lot of time on my hands to think up new and exciting ways to make the content better here at Diary of a Future Superstar, that is, when my brain wasn't melting like its on drugs from the lack of air conditioning and standing next to a hot oven all day. Yeah, that'll do it to ya alright. So, with all that said, let's start the show shall we?

Okay, I must admit that the title of this piece is a little bit of a misnomer due to the "fact" that Katrina is actually still around as I write this, only now it is a tropical depression. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to call 50 mile an hour winds a depression but the word clearly is very nondescriptive. When 100 mile an hour winds are coming at you, you can just hear people scream "DUDE THERE'S LIKE A FREEKIN HURRICANE COMING!". Really now, can you imagine people in an uproar shouting about the tropical depression that's heading their way? I sorta picture it as 2 old guys with huge beards, 5 teeth, and floppy hats discussing it on a front porch in kentucky in rocking chairs.

Scene: Somewhere on the front porch of a colonial style house in Kentucky with rocking chairs

Gummy Joe: Hey Abe did you hear about that depression that's posed to hit town tomare?

Honest Abe: I cannot tell a lie. I did not know that Gummy Joe.

Gummy Joe: Well that don't change facts. That depression is gonna ruin my dadburn day. And that's a fact.

Honest Abe: I ain't rguin witcha ya today Joe.

Gummy Joe: Well you best be quiet fore I give you a fat lip!

Well, Enough of that

I didn't mean to get sidetracked by talking about the conversation between 2 old prospectors, what I really wanted to do was to start a new section called....

Why is this News?

- P. Diddy changing his name to just Diddy

- The weekly reports on how much the movie industry made.

First of all, let me state for the record that I think that the purpose of news is to enlighten, inform, and entertain in that order. Forgive me if I cannot see how a celebrity changing his name is a newsworthy event, unless of course that news source has a vested interest in the public knowing his name. If they didn't know his name, then they might forget about him when it came time to buy his new cd and people who are dumb, which is more than 50%, would get confused about who you were talking about.

Do you really think the guy at Wal-Mart is going to be able to direct you to buy the new Diddy album if you ask for the new album by P. Diddy? People that work at Wal-Mart are only there to direct you to whatever aisle that Rice Chex cereal is in.

Next topic: How much money Deuce Bigalow 2 and the Dukes of Hazzard made last week is not news, except for the fact that it reminds you the consumer public that there are movies out there that need to be watched if we are going to kickstart the economy and overcome the crippling, wallet emptying, ever rising price of a barrel of oil.

P.S. I urge you to not watch either of the previous 2 movies ever. I'm serious about that. If you're ever at the video store one day and your wife says, "Honey let's watch that Hazzard movie." Do yourself a favor, and call me at 757-593-2761 and I'll be able to advise you on a much better movie that is suited to your tastes without completely insulting your intelligence.