Breaking News Update! Men and Women are Different: News at 11

A study reported today in cnn.com has shown that, amazingly enough, men and women are drawn to different aesthetic qualities of internet pages. I must confess that this is shocking news. I was not aware that there were subtle differences between the sexes.

I am shocked that this story is confined to a small corner of the internet and is not plastered on the front pages of newspapers worldwide. After all, if it wasn't for the normally longer hair, and frontal chest protrusions I probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between men and women, and I doubt that Joe Average marketer would be able to either. This study should produce dramatic results in the business world, enabling clothing stores to finally effectively stock clothes for women. We have been caught up in a male dominated society far too long, I say it's high time we took off the shackles of society and firmly embraced cultural change and, dare I say it, a revolution!

Patrick Henry supposedly wanted governments to have some sort of a revolution every 20 years (according to my brother and other government conspiracy nuts) but what the heck does he know? He's a man after all and was clearly only thinking of the men in America, while his wife was at home making him a chestnut pie and figgy pudding.

The article goes on to elaborate a little bit about this earthshattering study done at Glamgoran Business School in Wales. Here is what they found:

Women seemed to like pages with more color in the background and typeface. Women also favored informal rather than posed pictures.

Men responded better to dark colors and straight, horizontal lines across a page. They also were more pleased by a three-dimensional look and images of "self-propelling" rather than stationary objects.


Truly the world has been changed today and I for one want to promote national awareness of the fact that women like more colors than men who just want to "get r done."

The article also raises a very interesting question. I would just comment on it, but then you wouldn't understand the intricacy of the point that has been made. So instead I will quote from the article again.

So should Web sites consider having two faces, one for male users and another for female visitors? Moss said more research is needed.


Whoever this Moss person is she may want to get an interpreter before speaking publicly again, because I think she may have something growing on the north side of her body. Perhaps Moss didn't know that massive companies spend large amounts of money on web sites and don't have room in their budgets to allow for alternate versions of every site out there.

This reminds me of similar articles written by women that complain that videogames are mostly designed for men. Of course it is possible that mostly men buy videogames but naturally that is totally beside the point. Those kind of articles usually complain that the only female characters in videogames are just male fantasies involving string bikini's and large breasts. This is not true, the female characters should also be shooting a double barreled shotgun and spout some sort of catch phrase that would be perfect to repeated by her toy action figure with pull string doppelganger.

However, Hollywood has taught us by way of the excellent documentary "What Women Want" starring Mel Gibson, that men really don't have a clue as to how to design and market products to women unless they start thinking like a woman. Note: it helps if you put on lipstick.

To celebrate this new and innovative way of thinking about the internet and other products, I will temporarily change the layout of the website to pink. Please note, this will be the alternate version of my website. Sadly, I no longer have a budgetary allotment for that.