What's that I smell?



It sure isn't clean air. My elephant sized roomate is still next door lending his particular masculine aroma to every part of the apartment and spreading good cheer with his buff shirtless, full haired body every day during his morning ritual of going out to the kitchen with his bunny slippers on to pour half a gallon of milk into an economy sized bowl of frosted flakes so he can return to his abode and continue his quest of watching more television per day on average than it was thought humanly possible. He also sets a personal goal to eat at least 5 hot dogs per day. And then he accomplishes that goal. Way to go Mr. Oversized roomate guy! Some people don't know how to stick to their guns and make a plan and go with it, but not my large roomate. He takes it as a personal matter of pride. He knows the nearest grocery store is only a block away, and since it's cold outside he won't work up a sweat by walking there 3 times a week and coming home with milk, Kellog's Frosted Flakes, a 12 pack of buns, and 2 packages of Armour Hot Dogs (The dogs kids love to eat!).

Editor's Note: I know many readers out there expected something spectacular from their favorite friend during his months of hiding out and accumulating parking tickets at an astounding rate. However, I find that updating the drudgery of my new job at Tapa's Lounge at 1st avenue and 59 street in Manhattan and how I have to study all the time makes for bad entertainment. Pointing out the idiosynracies of life equals good entertainment. And I still have to study wine for 2 hours before going into work, so the nearest thing I could come up with to write about, was literally the nearest thing that I could come up with.

P.S. This is not an actual picture of my roomate, it is a still life photo I took at an all you can eat restaurant. To get a good sense of today's topic start by looking at the picture of the man, and then imagine him if you will without a job and eating cheetos all day while watching M.A.S.H, the Jeffersons, and the news and sleeping 17 hours a day. Then you will get a pretty good idea.

....but in the meantime..... STAY TUNED!!!!!!!

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