We Are All a Work in Progress

This thursday, I am scheduled to have the internet hooked up at my apartment and therefore will have no further excuses in making this the greatest and funniest blog ever created by one person. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Editors note: There has been a tremendous question lately of what has happened to my blog i wanted to assure everyone that it is still here by presenting this blog in progress. i thank you for your time. I spent last night in terror watching the screen in agony wondering how it would all end; and it was presented magnificently in full color Shatner-vision. Yes friends, I watched the entire classic film from 1979, Kingdom of the Spiders. It stars our intrepid hero William "Tyberias" Shatner in a role that he was born to play, just like the *gods were born to eat grapes and bring torment upon us poor humans who deign to serve them. * Reference to classic 1969 episode of Star Trek entitled "Who Mourns Adonis" where the Greek god Apollo captures the crew of the enterprise and forces them to serve him. The third season was low on budget and a bit silly. It also featured the infamous "Spock's Brain episode. I don't want to go into details on that one. Shatner...

11:20 head over to the library at 43 and 5th avenue to read the new Robert Redford article in Moving Pictures Quarterly. 11:23 Purchase a hot dog from a street vendor 11:25 Spill the relish on my brand new Armani's. 11:26 Freek out in the middle of Time's Square but no one is paying attention. 11:30 Arrive at library to find that magazine cover is ripped. Do not wish to patronize a library with undelicate customers. 11:37 Purchase Moving Pictures Quarterly and am disturbed to find a profile of Anne Heche. Feel that she has no talent and time with fellow lesbo (unmentionable) was too much time spent in media spotlight. 11:39 The next article on John Turturo brightens my mood considerably. His new French comedy where he plays a former lawyer who turns into the town drunk and wakes up on a priest's doorstep sets the scene for a heartwarming story of redemption. I smell a winner. Wake up and do your job Academy! 11:47 My agent calls and asks if I can audition for a guest spot o...

There has no been no "typical" day for me in NYC so far. Every day has been a new exciting and often stinky adventure. So here is something of a travelogue of an imaginary 24 hour time period in the life. 2:30 a.m. arrive home. notice multiple dirty pots in sink. evidence of cooking by roomate. open the refrigerator. 12 ounce cans of Coke that were placed in the refrigerator earlier have dissapeared. correction. one of them is standing empty on the wooden table that is covered with a blue sheet in front of the couch that is covered with a blue sheet and cigar ash stains. An ash tray rests on the table, filled with remains of a night of cheering for the Giants while chomping away on a cigar. A stale smell permeates the air. i make a slight noise of disgust and tromp away to my room. 2:45 a.m. probably asleep 3:00 a.m. my cell phone rings. its a girl. she says she was only going to leave a message and wonders what I'm doing answering the phone at 3 in the morning. I tell he...